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.Sunday, October 29, 2006.

Ok a long post >.< sorry.. after i finish I saw the length and was like Woah.

Service was great.. I'm glad I could feel that God wanted me to go COOS instead of LOC for saturday.. I felt as though He wants me to pray for myself to be healed physicall, psychologically and emotionally but more importantly it is to pray for all the others out there and believing in Him completely.. What the speaker said touched me.. Think the girl sitting beside must be surprised to see such a teary boy haha.. But I felt nothing is wrong because it's all tears of joy for the great wonders of God and His promise for salvation for all who believe in Him and confess as a sinner.. At first it felt a little disappointing that how come so few were healed on the spot but somehow after a while I felt something extra.. I recalled what a group member in bible studies told me.. "there are 3 ans from God: it's yes, no and wait." At that point I felt the ans He wanted to give to many is Wait. But wait does not means it's a no. Hence I felt that in time, He will do as He promised =) I'm certain God will do the same for you =)

Many things has changed since my path with Christ continued again. Changes in perspectives, expenditure and character. It's slow but I myself can see the changes. I seem to take cab less these days besides on Sat as i was wearing contact lense(took me very long >.< due to my small eyes) in fact i'm so glad I took a train from church home and then a bus from bedok =) It may seem like nothing but it's an accomplishment =)

I guess the holy spirit in me is still lacking in volume though it is ever present. Still I seem to give more these days. Donations given as long as I feel I still have enough for myself and at times even when i'm tight. Not to say i'm great or something but I know that the person on the recieving end will need the money more than I do. If it benefits others more than myself, might as well give =) God seemed to have helped me avoided many collisions these few days while i was cycling and I thank and praise Him for that =)

I guess I might still sin in the future but at least I'll try to lead a blameless life. Hm. I seem to feel the current problems i'm facing is due to my past. My past as a kid telling too much lies to cover up my ugly past, drinking heavy liqour when I was underaged to run from reality and get acceptance from so called friends and fighting others to win at all cost. It all seems to link to the major problems I have. My lip, stomach, liver and back. But it's alright I pay for my sins as I know there are even more I have commited and that even if these were to stay with me for life, I can never repay the harm I have caused onto others and myself. Mistakes that I made. In time I'll explain to you why I have the name Div. It's to remind me of something and to guide my future that I feel best to say in person. I will be truthful to you. Promise =) I also hope in time you can gradually remove the barrier between us and communicate more. perhaps even to share a little of your inner thoughts.

Next Saturday I won't be joining cell group meeting at 2pm. Will you be joining? If got outing let me know ya? I'll be doing CIP organized by lawrence from touch you community services(the guy I mentioned in the previous post). It's to tuition the kids but keke this week is the exams so by the time reach saturday, it will just be playing with them. You wana go ma? will ask you again probably mid this week. Trying to not disturb u so much so as to make sure u have as much space as possible.

Just asking, will you be free after chinese paper to have lunch together? It's alright if u still feel uncomfortable, can just let me know. It's a lunch with a friend though =)

Hm. Actually there's a reason why i haven't wear back the cross.. We gou gou shou le so I dun want you to end up breaking a promise. On the other hand, I dun want to break another promise to you ever again.

And em. I guess it's really hard for you to ask me for the cross and wear back when the last time round i said when u feel comfortable of my presence then ask me for the cross to wear back? Since we didn't agree on that or promise, we'll cancel that off? Dun want to make it difficult for you. On the other hand.. When you feel you are ready to give me another chance, can you wear the watch I gave you? This way you dun have to feel awkward while still getting the message across? Not to worry, I'm not gonna hurry things etc. As I said and understood from many and God - Sweet harvest takes a long time to grow and nurture. We still at friends level and only friends level =) this time i'll let God guide us and decide and not my own personal decisions. I'll be patient and wait. No matter how long, I'll wait till you say you're ready for the relationship and God gives a go sign where he can be the centre of the relationship =)

I didn't put a tag board so others can't use a site to search for this blog. anything can sms me or call me especially if u feel wat i say makes u feel unesay must le me know k.




10/29/2006 05:07:00 PM