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.Wednesday, December 20, 2006.

repairs.. repairs.. casings... sony laptop repairs and replacement.. 450... saxophone repairs 42.. casing for laptop 100... casing for saxophone.. 300+(not yet bought).. saxophone rit 40.. saxophone mouth piece 500(not yet bought)...

but all were necessities.. not tat i have a choice.. Pooh bear jie jie forgive me.. I took as much bus and train.. dun eat in restaurants le.. I'll still continue to do my best to spend minimal.. Please don't lose trust or faith in piglet...

Hm.. gave her de present today.. wrote a letter for her.. somehow.. didn't know how to say that i have lost all feelings.. that all in my mind is just God and my work.. of course my family(includes u jie) are also partially in my mind but rank 3 le haha.. nor do i know how to tell her i treat her as a good friend that is worth my effort to care for such as through simple smses or being a listening ear or simply just spending time with.. hard to explain considering there's a past.. but i guess in time she'll know.. believe cannot be a couple but can be good friends.. too busy for any relationship.. too many commitments in mind for anything more.. satisfied with what i have.. I have God.. I have a church community that is so friendly and approachable.. and of course.. I have a wonderful sister.. for all these.. i am satisfied.. I do not need a beautiful relationship.. i do not need millions to my name.. i do not need status.. This year has really been a blessing all along.. so many sufferings.. so many downs.. all for this two months.. these two beautiful months God has given me.. to find my way back.. to find a home that feels so comfy to settle down.. to find a friend that became my sibling whom really treats me as one and allows me to treat her as one as well.. The feeling of having an elder sibling that cares for myself and that i can care for feels so great.. feels so warm like sitting by the fireplace during winter.. so cozy.. it's like de feeling is i want to go all around shouting i've got a sister! i got God! these two blessings are just so beautiful.. so marvelous.. so perfect in timing.. What else can i say to God but thank you..

My music shall play for you Father.. my voice shall sing for you... my qualifications you bestow to me shall be applicable to work and expand your kingdom... I may be small and one person.. but Father Lord.. All i can do.. I shall do.. for Father.. without you.. i really won't have all the other things.. your biggest prove to me of ur presence is not to give me a relationship tat i cherished remeber.. but Father Lord.. it is to give me a family.. for all along.. you didn't answer that prayer for years.. only to make sure that when you give me one.. I would not forgo you nor replace you by any other thing..




12/20/2006 09:49:00 PM