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.Saturday, December 02, 2006.

TQ.. mini bar.. i miss these places.. My guild.. so much power to command.. so many people to fight.. so much drinks to gulp down.. find my old friend.. get the strongest shot and finally get myself drunk and dead.. I'm suppose to die so many times anyway.. might as well finish it up..

haha.. very long didn't cry like this le.. what i describe the Satanic tears.. smiling.. laughing.. while crying.. Father.. everytime seems to be in the wrong timing.. Why couldn't i return earlier to you.. why couldn't i be baptized earlier.. why even now my voice has only recovered around 40%.. That voice that i use to love so much and proud of.. I want to sing again.. at least for you.. if it's you that decides i put a fullstop soon.. Hate is something we should never have or we'll deviate from You.. but now.. that's how i feel.. that's the same feeling i got when me and her decided to seperate.. the same feeling as the misunderstanding.. the same feeling as each time i fall and cannot get up for a few moments.. is it Your choice that i return my eyes.. the red eyes.. I haven't seen it for a week.. is it to return.. Can't You wait for my walk with you to be stable and with faith that no being or Satan can break or even leave a scratch? I won't abandon You Father for i know all child has to return to their parents.. but my period of anger has arisen..




12/02/2006 11:48:00 AM