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.Friday, December 29, 2006.

These few nights.. rest hasn't been well.. guess all the stress and fear is pilling up... My work.. guess they'll drag into school reopen.. oh well.. nvm.. just push harder a bit and should be able to catch up again.. and perhaps.. even outdo the rest... Here begins my journey.. to make history for MJ... to be the first successful story to get H3 distinction.. 3 As for H2.. and two Bs for GP and Geog... May the dragon arise.. God.. guide this dragon child of yours..

Hm.. vin send me 3 songs.. 2.. he told me to send to gel.. I heard the songs.. and was feeling all the heartbreaks... suddenly.. i hear the lyrics.. feels so painfully.. so many memories return.. i guess that's how he feels as well.. but like me.. we tend to hide our feelings and expressions from others.. the songs are "We could be in love - Lea Solonga & Brad Kane" and " I wish you love - Rachael Yamagata"... feels so painful.. so painful... it's not just the relationships tat returned to my mind.. the school life... the mask i had to put.. the identidy i used to hide.. the way my classmates treated me.. and even today's classmates.. all so superficial.. but more importantly... my grandparents.. their love for me.. but yet.. i did nothing for them.. nothing... all i did was took them for granted.. My parents.. don't even know my secrets.. or even my worklife in the office.. all they know is.. i'm in "school" when actually.. i'm at the office.. till i was older.. and i saw my grandparents left.. I realise.. all that i was working for.. was for nothing.. for no one.. for no reason.. no purpose.. My parents.. all they know is give me money.. maybe at times dey express their love wrongly as pooh says.. but certainly.. tat's not how i hope to be loved as a child.. Suddenly.. i feel so blank again.. what am i doing everything for? I know I have a mind given from God.. I have a hands that can play an instrument and do martial arts.. a mouth that can play de saxophone.. (i can't sing so i'm not gonna mention that).. but yet.. I dunno what are all these for.. i feel lost.. suddenly i just feel like running to pooh and cry.. jie.. piglet.. unbearable.. piglet.. painful.. God.. why am i to hear such songs and feel so hurt..




12/29/2006 12:30:00 PM