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.Wednesday, January 03, 2007.

mum just tell piglet off.. tell piglet off for not going to the dinner.. that all the other kids turn up but me.. that grandma scolded her for not bringing me alone.. that grandma tell her to scold me again.. even after grandma scold me on the phone.. she still ask my mum to scold me again.. why must all misunderstand me.. but worst is why must my own sister misunderstand me.. a little more understanding and patience is all i asked.. as i see her online.. i wanted to tell her how sorry i am to hurt her.. how sorry i am to disappoint her.. but yet.. last night she said.. "say sorry again and i'll hang up.." "it doesn't matter.. happened so many times.." Father.. I tried my best to be a good boy in the past.. i did try hard.. i admit this time it was my mistake and foolishness.. but previously.. they were all unintentional.. they were mostly cause i care for my own sister.. why Father? I love and care for my sister.. but yet I am deemed as wrong..

what is it of a child that hurts most.. it is not being scolded.. it is not being a slave and tortured by his master.. it is not the physical pain that can be experienced.. is it to be forsaken.. not just by anyone.. but his own family.. one that is least expected to ever forsake.. for like God, it is expected of the family to be always as one and never abandon the other.. oh Father.. did pooh hear my calling when i was struggling.. could she tell that i was trying my best to put up a brave front so that she doesn't worry when i asked for a lullaby before school reopens.. but who could i blame for the way pooh is treating me now but myself..

Father.. after reading pooh's blog.. i felt hurt again.. i never left pooh.. right from the start.. but why does she sound like i might someday forsake her.. Father Lord You know it well of my firm stand in kinship that as firm as Your promises, that one promise will never shake or tremble.. I dun mind my sister not trusting me to share things or to not expect that all my words and promises are kept for i deserve this harsh treatment but Father Lord, the one promise to never forsake.. How could she doubt that.. I remember asking her.. "don't ever forsake piglet" does she know how much fear i had.. how much fear that i might even lose my only sister.. and when she said.. there's no need to gou gou shou.. it's a fact.. I felt so heartened to hear that.. I do not say that pooh has forsaken me for i still believe in those words.. but certainly.. i know i hurt her.. very much.. If pooh doesn't trust piglet then let it be a lifetime that is use to show that never will i forsake my sister. For Father Lord, as firm as ur words, so is this promise i make and kept and continue keeping.. I still love my sister. that is a fact that will never change. For Father Lord, I know You'll help me keep this promise.. for all promises to her i may fail but never one that is to abandon my own family, sibling..




1/03/2007 12:26:00 PM