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.Saturday, February 03, 2007.

sigh.. why is the piglet that my classmates call sweet and super nice end up being misunderstood once again.. what is right oh Father.. What is right.. Try to talk to her.. she finds me irritating.. dun talk to her but worried so get a book that hope is helpful especially when she's tired about worship leading but i get misunderstood.. dun want to wake her up cause see that's she is very tired also get said to do things secretly.. Oh Father.. how am i to care for my sister.. whatever i do now seems to be wrong in her eyes.. can't she not see me in such a perspective.. at times i even want to ask her.. is it cause u dun know how to reply to the message or is the person sending that you dun know how to reply to.. Father Lord oh Father Lord, my love for you is but an endless boundary and the biggest of all but can't be granted a little wisdom to know what to do right to care for my sister? Yes, i may be blameless as all i did was not meant to sin but for the good but Father Lord, it turned out to be negative.. how could then feel absolutely nothing about it? It's already a month Father.. in fact.. more.. give me some rest Father, some comfort.. It's very over piling.. school. health and others.. at least let me know my family really cares, at least let me know that my family is alright and doesn't see me in a negative view.. I wonder Father.. I wonder why.. I wonder what to do.. but all that's available is but unknown wrongs i made.. Has my own sibling stop to think that i could have reasons or situations so i can't do exactly as she pleases or can she know that it's cause i care.. or can then a little understanding that i already tried my best to be a obedient boy..

school work.. politics not just among students.. but now even my teachers.. CCA, even my math teacher scolded me during lesson.. guess she must be not pleased with my results and attitude in lesson.. to not listen to her.. people ask me question.. it's very rude not to answer.. so i answer and get scolded from the teacher to say that if i so clever go in front teach.. must be make lots of silly mistakes..
even for my tutorial.. i haven't even done it though it has been weeks.. there are two more upcoming tests.. and the teacher said.. i'm mentally prepared about the results.. what about me.. i'm mentally prepared about how to cope and live just the next day..

i look absolutely like a ugly duckling i totally have no mood for others to see me.. i feel like just hiding in my room and not let anyone see how ugly i have become..

Why can't anyone understand how much tension there is on the string.. Father Lord.. Tired.. tired... tired.. ha.. piglet seems to be super watery... haha...




2/03/2007 05:27:00 PM