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.Sunday, December 09, 2007.

the alevel season is over. At a hault i come to look back. I kinda miss being in MJ. Following ms lai for so many years. It does feel like shes half my mother.

During this year, I have faced emotional shatterredness, lost in trust and faith by my teachers, friends, faced fear in my life. Fear that was conquering for quite awhile.. that Instead of studying, i didn't.. I did all other things.. I gamed, I watched a total of 130+ episodes of animation and others after midyear till A levels. to be precise, while studying for A levels, I watched 4~6 episodes of animation a day.. I feel remorseful but i guess whats done is done. A year or unknowingly hurting others.. a year of losing my sibling.. a year of losing my relatives...
A year of being doubt by my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ till i got so angry with them they actually complained to all others about me and made everyone sympathise with them.. Is that the life of me.. Daddy, you said you choose me for something... but why.. why did i do all these... why when i'm trying to care and protect those i love.. i get all the scoldings.. all the wrongs and all the blames.. I even lost my first half because of others and my heart and mind that was not guarded. That i feel guilty.. why do people not see our heart.. instead they judge.. i guess.. that's man.. when we say we humble.. very often.. we're judging.. we're playing Daddy...

This is a year.. this is a year..
Of course, i found the Lord, and also my other half. At least for these, i may rejoice...




12/09/2007 12:15:00 PM